Secret Squirrel Mission

So I got chosen for a super secret highly classified and very important secret squirrel mission today towards the end of the day…


The XO called me in to his office and told me to jump on the bus and go buy a little cake and some candles or whatever from the commissary since it was Spartan 6’s birthday and he wanted to surprise him. Of course, no one anticipated it being CLOSED because of the freaking Lunar New Year. Darn near every Korean worker on post is MIA. I think it’s just another made-up holiday (the get off like three-dozen each year) and an excuse to get all drunk on SoJu, but I digress.

So yeah, the commissary was closed. Being the master at improvisation that I am, I run to Baskin Robbins! Sure enough, they’ve got some pre-made icecream cakes! Thank goodness! I will not return a failure! What’s this? $25.00 for a freaking block of icecream half the size of my tiny-ass laptop?! Oh well… good thing I’m getting reimbursed for this! At least they put “Happy Birthday Spartan 6” on it for free. That’s the least they could do.

So my buddy Dietrich (you may remember him as the guy who foiled the flirting this past weekend… lol, just kidding D) picks me up and we bring the secret frozen chocolate goodness back to battalion and put it in the freezer in the back office, far from prying Lieutenant Colonel eyes… well, mostly. It’s right outside his office. About this time the CSM tells us to go run to the DFac and get some plates, flatware, and something to cut the cake with. That was easy enough, but they must have thought we were, to quote the CSM, “slaughtering a hog” because I swear they gave us the biggest knife they could find!

After retrieving those, we were finally able to surprise the CO by rushing into his office… all, like… three of us. It was funny. He said, “Damn, I thought my OPSEC was better than that.” The CSM replied that it was until the colonel’s wife called him. LOL.

Anyways, the cake was delicious. Top half chocolate cake, bottom half chocolate icecream, vanilla icing around the edges. Yum.

Dietrich didn’t eat any. He’s a communist.

When I finally got reimbursed, the CSM made a comment about how much the freaking cake was and how he doesn’t like anyone that much. LOL. Just another great day at the office. 🙂

Catch you on the flip side.

P.S. Another three-day weekend for me!  It would be a four-day, but the CSM said, “You get comp-time when I say you get comp-time.”  Oh well, ceste’ la vis.  I guess I’ll just suffer through just the ONE extra day off.  *sigh*


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