Complete this equation…

If Horst = House, then ? = Wilson.

Give up? It’s Gerver, obviously. Well, most of you just know him as Keith. Regardless, the equation is true. I’ve thought this since I started watching the show, but apparently my family and several of my friends also feel this way (about as many people that think I’m just like House). What really was scary was the latest episode of House, “Don’t Ever Change”. Allow me to offer this as a qualifier:

Wilson: [Cutthroat bitch] tends to treat every event like it’s the last copter out of Saigon.

House: She’s the anti-Wilson. A force for evil.

Wilson: She has an annoying quality. Perhaps even two. If I was perfect, I would date perfect.

House: You like that!

Wilson: It’s annoying, but she’s good at it.

House: Wait a second… this isn’t just about the sex. You like her personality. You like that she’s conniving. You like that she has no regard for consequences. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves…

Pause

House [very seriously]: Oh my god… you’re sleeping with me.

Awkward silence. Wilson looks confused, House looks horrified.

Exit House, stage left. Wilson looks very uncomfortable.

This isn’t far from true. I keep trying to tell my bestest buddy Keith that he’d be happier if he’d just find a woman who’s like me. He seems to disagree.

Of course, we all know I’m right. He’ll come to this same conclusion sooner or later. Then I’ll say, “I told you so,” and smile smugly. 😀

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