Whip it good

So, you all should find this funny.  On Friday of last week we had a surprise room inspection in the barracks.  “Whatever,” says I.  My room was cluttered, but I didn’t think I had anything that would get me in trouble, especially since I didn’t have anything new in there since the last room inspection when there was the hullabaloo about my sai.

Well, apparently someone doing the inspection wasn’t informed that a whip isn’t a weapon, it’s an agricultural tool.  Even though it was sitting out (and funnily commented on by the CDR and 1SG) during the last room inspection, I guess whichever squad leader did my room this time was confused.  My squad leader tells me that when it’s seen, what was IMMEDIATELY thought was that I was a racist.  Yep, I’m a cracker… in the slang historically derogatory sense.

Don’t worry though, it gets better.  My squad leader, trying to make things better (apparently), told me he vouched that I was not a racist and that instead, my whip was a sex toy.  Oh yeah, I said it.  Sex toy.

So instead of being a racist, I’m a kinky sadist… or masochist, take  your pick.  Let’s just go ahead and rule out that it increases eye-hand coordination and reflexes and I like doing tricks with them, such as wraps, volleys, trick-shots, and target cutting.  Nope, I definitely couldn’t just have the whip because I enjoy the sport of whip cracking.  I’ve gotta be either a racist or a kinky bastard.  No other option.

Whip it… whip it good.

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3 Responses

  1. Uh, WHAT??? Racist? I don’t understand what whips have to do with racism…. I’ve always just associated them with Indiana Jones.

  2. I’m pretty sure I can make the racism connection, but it’s a bit of a stretch to say that’s why I have one laying around. I, like you, have always associated them with the good Dr. Jones.

  3. so racist or kinky sex person…. i think your response should have been “why can’t I be both?”

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