Simon Pegg hates fast zombies

Here’s a cool article by Shaun of the Dead actor Simon Pegg about why he feels that “fast” zombies are ruining the zombie genre of movie.

A call to the return of slow zombies

From the article:

I know it is absurd to debate the rules of a reality that does not exist, but this genuinely irks me. You cannot kill a vampire with an MDF stake; werewolves can’t fly; zombies do not run. It’s a misconception, a bastardisation that diminishes a classic movie monster. The best phantasmagoria uses reality to render the inconceivable conceivable. The speedy zombie seems implausible to me, even within the fantastic realm it inhabits. A biological agent, I’ll buy. Some sort of super-virus? Sure, why not. But death? Death is a disability, not a superpower. It’s hard to run with a cold, let alone the most debilitating malady of them all.

Makes sense to me, but only if we’re going with actual “undead” zombies and not the “mutated rabies” zombies like in the 28 Days/Weeks later movies (which he addresses as not being actual zombie movies).  Just sayin’.  Read the article.  It’s long, but humorous, and he makes some good points and provides a lot of zombie movie history insight.

Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion

Ok, so maybe it’s not an official Army field manual…

This publication is not published by, nor endorsed by the United States Army. The Fort Clement address is a false address (other addresses that appear on this publication are real or were real at the time of publication). This publication’s aim is to serve as a parody and entertain soldiers and civilians alike. Please do not take any of the contents seriously. We are not responsible for any injury, harm or mishaps that may occur as a result of following directions included within the text of this publication or elsewhere. We will probably try to claim credit for any successes. We will probably fail.

…but it certainly is entertaining!  These guys went through a lot of effort putting together this look-a-like field manual.

Army Gets How-To Guide for Zombie Invasion

You can download the mock manual through the link above.  There’s actually a few good entertaining links there that fans of zombie survival should check out, if not for any other reason than to get a good laugh.

The Zombie Autopsies

It’s nice to know that we at least have some actual medical doctors on our side for when the zombies come.

The Zombie Autopsies

I’m gonna have to check this out and see if it’s any good.

Cocktail Hour in the [Zombie] Apocalypse

So I thought this sounded pretty tasty.

How to make the ultimate Zombie cocktail

The article is pretty good, but for those too lazy, here’s the actual recipe:

The Zombie

  • 1/2 ounce white rum
  • 1 1/2 ounces golden rum (Appleton is one of the most reliable brands to use here, bringing a nice balance of sweet and spice without being overbearing)
  • 1 ounce dark rum (The Lash adds a great slug of ginger and molasses to the mix, balancing the tang of the citrus)
  • 1/2 ounce 151-proof rum (Bacardi 151 is generally the go-to bottle here, but any over-proof rum will do since the heat of the alcohol tends to drown out any nuance)
  • 1 ounce lime juice
  • 1 teaspoon pineapple juice
  • 1 teaspoon papaya juice
  • 1 teaspoon superfine sugar

Stir all of the ingredients together, except the over-proof rum, and pour into a tall glass filled most of the way with ice. Then take a spoon and submerge it just to the brim and slowly pour the 151 into the bowl of the spoon to float the rum on top. Then simply light that beast for dramatic effect, or self-defense, as needed. After a couple of these, the end of the world as we know it won’t seem nearly as bad.

And here’s a funny quotation from the article:

But maybe the Zombie hits a little too close to home. Perhaps drinking a zombie brings back unpleasant memories of dismembered family members, pets and neighbors. Because hope, along with a trusty shotgun, military training and plenty of canned food, is your best ally in an epidemic of the ambulatory undead, so it can’t hurt to make your cocktail of choice one so strong it’s reputed to bring the dead back to the land of the living – the Corpse Reviver.

Incidentally, the recipe for the Coprse Reviver is also in the article linked above, but if you want it, you’ll have to go get it.

Have a happy zombie apocalypse, and remember don’t drink and drive over zombies… wait… nevermind.

Ride through the [zombie] apocalypse in style

Now that the CDC has admitted zombies are a threat, I bet these will sell like hotcakes to the rich and crazy famous.

Conquest Vehicles – Knight XV

It’s official. CDC admits zombie threat.

No joke.  This was posted this past Monday on the CDC’s blog.

Social Media: Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse

Here’s a snippet from the article.

Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

So, if the CDC admits that zombies are a threat, who am I to dispute it?

For some news opinions on the CDC blog posting, you can read:

  • Huffington Post article (where they mention that huge amounts of traffic has caused the link to the official blog site to shut down)
  • Fox News article (has quotations from CDC spokesman)
  • Natural News article (my personal favorite, since it points out that the CDC doesn’t want you to defend yourself against the zombies)

So there you have it.  The general preparedness suggestions are great, but if you love your life or your loved ones, buy a gun to defend them with from the zombie menace.

Keep your powder dry.

See… the Polish believe in zombies

Zombie-Proof House built in Warsaw.

You know, even being zombie-proof, I don’t really care for the look of the place.  I think it can be done more aesthetically pleasing.  Just my $0.02.